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everybody's getting on my nerves...
on varying degrees, some worse than others, but you know what I mean.
sometimes I want to go walden for the rest of forever.
I haven't gone to class into two days.
what a waste.
I'm thinking of probably transferring elsewhere except I'm not sure on the "where" yet. definitely else, though.
it feels like home except without the forest, without the familiar faces, without the booze.
it's a fucking drag, and it's all my fault.
or none of it's my fault. that depends how you look at it.
I'm trying not to be a brat, so it's my fault.
fine.
so what do I do with that?
transfer?
get a j o b ? I desperately need a job.
only some schools accept transfers for spring semester.
if I last that long.
fuck knows I couldn't last my whole four years here.
I tried thinking about that - four years? - but it's just not going to happen.
I mean I'd sooner die. or just leave. show up on someone's unsuspecting doorstep.
I feel like I'm always devising a plan to go somewhere else.
I never want to be where I am.
I thought it was because of how much I hated my hometown, how tired of it was.
I'm not so sure that was true anymore, unless I'm truly unfortunate enough to have wound up in the same place (albeit geographically different). I mean it feels the fucking same. and it makes me feel like maybe everywhere's the same.
I have to believe it isn't. for the sake of my own sanity.
the upside is I'm writing again. I met someone who gave me lighter fluid. and it's burning again. not much, but it's burning again. that's what matters.
the downside is I have no capacity for commitment. or settling (down). or staying in one place, apparently.
I want to keep moving, but I never know where.
I'm always waiting to get somewhere else.
I agree to hang out with people, and then... almost immediately after I get there I'm thinking of a way out. I speak in exit doors. I pack 5000 escape ropes. no flares.
I don't know. I need help, I guess. except everyone who tries to give me advice gets snapped at. and everyone who gets snapped at learns not to pet the fucking dog anymore, you know?
so.
whatever, I guess.
until the next.
kallisti, motherfuckers
on varying degrees, some worse than others, but you know what I mean.
sometimes I want to go walden for the rest of forever.
I haven't gone to class into two days.
what a waste.
I'm thinking of probably transferring elsewhere except I'm not sure on the "where" yet. definitely else, though.
it feels like home except without the forest, without the familiar faces, without the booze.
it's a fucking drag, and it's all my fault.
or none of it's my fault. that depends how you look at it.
I'm trying not to be a brat, so it's my fault.
fine.
so what do I do with that?
transfer?
get a j o b ? I desperately need a job.
only some schools accept transfers for spring semester.
if I last that long.
fuck knows I couldn't last my whole four years here.
I tried thinking about that - four years? - but it's just not going to happen.
I mean I'd sooner die. or just leave. show up on someone's unsuspecting doorstep.
I feel like I'm always devising a plan to go somewhere else.
I never want to be where I am.
I thought it was because of how much I hated my hometown, how tired of it was.
I'm not so sure that was true anymore, unless I'm truly unfortunate enough to have wound up in the same place (albeit geographically different). I mean it feels the fucking same. and it makes me feel like maybe everywhere's the same.
I have to believe it isn't. for the sake of my own sanity.
the upside is I'm writing again. I met someone who gave me lighter fluid. and it's burning again. not much, but it's burning again. that's what matters.
the downside is I have no capacity for commitment. or settling (down). or staying in one place, apparently.
I want to keep moving, but I never know where.
I'm always waiting to get somewhere else.
I agree to hang out with people, and then... almost immediately after I get there I'm thinking of a way out. I speak in exit doors. I pack 5000 escape ropes. no flares.
I don't know. I need help, I guess. except everyone who tries to give me advice gets snapped at. and everyone who gets snapped at learns not to pet the fucking dog anymore, you know?
so.
whatever, I guess.
until the next.
kallisti, motherfuckers
hey all,
I know it's been a while since I've been on here, but I've been writing a lot all term. I just put together a little poetry collection for my poetry class portfolio, SO. if anyone would like to read some of my new stuff, comment or send me a note w your email!
hope you all are doing well & everyone you love is safe.
everybody loves the dream but i kill it
i'm a little drunk but listen,
i've spent the last two hours reading old works from the depths of my favourites on here and it just makes me want to fucking cry. looking through people's galleries whose lit tag was more familiar than some of my friends faces. trying to come face to face with what i had been reading then, trying to understand how it made me, made me better, or worse, and made me write, and made me think. i didn't even want to be a writer when i first joined deviantart. i wanted to draw. that's what i DID for a while but then.. you know. i found something here, and i think it was love, for strangers, for feeling more connected
question,
how do you [personally] move from concept to storyline? from idea to actual plot?
I have so many concepts sitting in a file on my phone but I'm not quite sure where to go from here
attention to my female watchers
this isn't the kinda shit that I'd normally feel compelled to post, but this situation is getting out of hand and I'm tired of sitting here quietly fuming about it.
here are some things we can all agree are some creepy, not okay behaviors online (specifically from cis men):
- creating accounts on websites for the sole purpose of trying to get with the girls on that website (unless it's some kind of dating site)
- constantly commenting on/messaging/etc someone's profile with clear intentions to bother or harass them
- pining after minors and waiting until they're barely legal to talk to them
- guilt tripping and manipulating girls into AN
© 2014 - 2024 fervvent
Comments3
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<3 if you want to rant to me i'm always hear to listen, as you know.
freshman year is shitty. why is it so shitty? (i wonder if it is for everyone)
it doesn't get good until way later.
for me, it was my senior year. now. when i finally decided to do what i wanted, and put away the fear of making a mistake.
is evergreen still an option?
(i haven't been to class either. whoopsiesiesis)
(if i was there we could skip class together yes??)
freshman year is shitty. why is it so shitty? (i wonder if it is for everyone)
it doesn't get good until way later.
for me, it was my senior year. now. when i finally decided to do what i wanted, and put away the fear of making a mistake.
is evergreen still an option?
(i haven't been to class either. whoopsiesiesis)
(if i was there we could skip class together yes??)