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Submitted on
October 28, 2012
File Size
808 bytes


252 (who?)
she had the kind of voice
that seemed to be stuck
in the hour of four o'clock
in the morning - soft
and tired and luring,
mumbling her way through
subways and tunnel lights
all pale yellow with noise.

there was tea and long baths
and longer absences,
hiccups of breath
the best
she could do.
long springs and
longer falls,
one equinox to the next
and still the bad
was never that bad
and the good
was never that
and she continues to hum
the birds continue to sing
the apples continue to
grow  and
sour and

and bury themselves
edit 11/15/12: thank you so much for the DLD (dailylitdeviations.deviantart.... and all of the support/favourites/feedback/etc. you guys are wonderful :heart:

edit 7/15/13: holy fuck. fdkjlasjfads;klfsadfkjl. i never even thought i would get one DD, let alone two. thank you so much :heart: it means so much to me aaaaaaa. i hope you guys like this poem. it holds a really special place in my heart. gah. wow. thank you. thank you. fffffffffffff.


without extremes
everything would taste like

again, to be read out loud,
if you even bother

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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-07-15
lukewarm by =vvolatile ( Suggested by ivorysinkshore and Featured by Beccalicious )
Critique? You wan tme to criticize this thing? Because it's freaking beautiful. I will say that it was a little confusing and unclear and needed to be read a few times to be understood. It seems to stray a little bit and it has pieces that seem to have nothing to do with each other. But they do, to the attentive reader. Your enjambment is perfect and everything flows and connects. It's so descriptive and liquid and can be read as with pauses at the end of each line or read with the proper use of enjambment. Your vocabulary and all the phrases you use just- how can I say this? I completely envy you. This is my favorite poem. The title very much describes the tone and mood of the peom.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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Paulwe Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's good. I especially like how you manage to capture a beauty apart from the two typical extremes of poetry found on dA - artsy pretentious crap and amateur "I-love-you-so-much" teen poetry. Its a narrow hallway to walk without touching the walls, but you've done it. Instead, you've captured a unique and specific emotional scenario, and a beautiful one at that. Well done.
fervvent Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haah well thank you. :heart:
It's really great to see something like this. A little different from other poems I have bumpt into ... it was not to demanding to read, and .. yeah, just really good :)
fervvent Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you (:
lintu47 Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
fervvent Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks! :heart:
lintu47 Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure :happybounce:
anila73 Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I... I love this, wow.
fervvent Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i'm glad you do <3
Loved the ending :)
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