on foreverbelow you'll find something i wrote to KaitForest after she had read a poem and said, "i want to write it down and keep it forever."on forever by antonfrost
she liked what i wrote so i thought i'd share it here:
i think of those moments we wish would last forever,
or at least "long enough." such feelings. loves and sorrows and waves of rippling light that are an outpouring, immense washes of white rain. the whole world in them. lifetimes in them. surging waters and purple stones and birds that never touch the ground.
it's just occurring to me
that maybe that's what i've meant all along when i've said "forever."
simply "long enough."
there is something so sad
in the meagerness of our true wants, something so small, so simple,
yet so elaborate and beautiful and real.
it's like we see who we really are, and it's no longer frightening, it's no longer a distant figure never reached, a self we never get to become, it's already the deepest part of us. it's just hidden. by nothing heavier
on leaving it behindi stillon leaving it behind by diddlyhohum
this might appall you
or agonize you but i do.
i remember still evenings
with little to exchange besides
heartbeats and breathing patterns.
i remember soft afternoons
with my back raking against the carpet
leaving sporadic scars and stitches of memory.
i remember dark roads, and darker rains.
i remember a longer faith and a shorter pain.
the wounds are not as fresh, they do not sting,
but they ache and the few times i hear your voice
wedges your fingers in my brain and i can feel the cake
of neglected cum stains and i can hear the desperation in
the small whimper of my name and the way it was hard for your
breath to escape and my mind is running on thin rails, paper train,
and all i ever wanted from you was a home, not a place.
you would finger fuck me in the movie theater
and i would squirm and you would laugh because
i am not so good at keeping quiet. and all it would take
was a look from me or my hand up your knee or my lip under my
teeth and your eyes would