mother.i'm not exactly a person-mother. by ohsostarryeyed
more like a body
filled up with
things i never should've known
and things i never could've said.
and i wonder what you'd do
if i could.
so i tell strangers, i tell you,
because i'll never have to
look you in the face
or see your eyes hide
behind walls that never had to be built-
there are bodies buried in those, you know.
i never wanted any of that.
the way i never wanted to be the girl
who ran away from womanhood as it approached,
because adolescence was so much sweeter
at four feet tall.
i sprouted breasts in panic.
my limbs stretched and the pains at night
weren't just from growing pains- they were from
not being able to shrink back down.
i never signed up to reach twenty years old.
i never wanted boys with sweaty hands
to touch me, i never wanted to see
that red flower in my bottoms until they did.
i wonder what you'd think of me
if i told you how i'm never fooled
by your husband, even if you are.
six trips to the bottle last night,
did you know?
in requiem of a sinnerand even now as i turn my cheekin requiem of a sinner by KaitForest
i'm still deflowered by the
gods who come in the middle
of the night
to tell me to
get on my
and p(r)ay for all
that i've done
on being a woman'what's a pretty ladyon being a woman by diddlyhohum
like you doin' smokin' cigarettes?'
'if i fucked you
for every time i've
you wouldn't think i was such
a lady anymore,
and what's a clever fella like you
doing minding my business for me,
i am not a lady-
i do not curve my appetites,
i do not curve through the waist and hips,
i please for my own pleasure,
i soak in my own sweat,
i fuck for my own glory.
tiddly tum, hidden harems and come,
i am the singular player in my play,
i am the prologue, intermission, and final act
every love i have known has been fueled by
my own fury, every discovery dug up by my own
destiny, every body of water i touched, i touched
with my own skin, i am not domestic, i am imported-
virgin beer on saintly lips, i am not comely nor
forthcoming, i offer my bed to no soldier, i take
what i can and give what i can, i do not plea or
placate or play the victim with my eyelashes-
my father says one day, i will be a lady and
take my rightful place to the left and behind